Missing
by Jayne Dough
Summary: Her body was never found. Femslash warning since some readers are getting uppity. Rating to be safe, mostly mild language.
1. Chapter 1

The slaughter was almost unbearable. Classmates, family, aquaintences, friends, strewn over the land like cheap fertiliser. Harry was monsterously carving his way through death eaters, with such an angry bright spark burning holes in his eyes. Fuelled by nothing but anger, he charged forward, taking out every death eater he saw.

The ministry had set up a system, unforgiveable curses were exactly that, completely unforgiveable to everyone with scruples. For everyone fighting to save the wizarding world from Voldemort, The Death Eaters, and in general the massive spectrum that was the dark arts, morals and ethics were the only thing that kept them apart from the others. Justice would prevail, and justice has a habit of serving the punishment duely, but only if you were inclined to play fair.

There were Fighters, the fearless, brave and noble, who stunned the evil ones to within an inch of their life, but never further. Then there were Collectors, nimble hex-dodgers, who often had seconds to incarcerate Death Eaters, before being targetted themselves. The unconscious malice-riddled forms were apparated, where another team of snivelling cowardly ministry officials would adminstrate veritaserum to gain information. Sending them almost immediately to recieve the dementors kiss. Few dementors (not known for their high wit) were easily herded into the ministry's secret battle headquarters to work against the dark arts, and that was how some of the most powerful dark wizards were reduced to a useless, dribbling, mess.

The FIghters charged, and definitely had the other hand, the ministry's very quick justice process was under strain but coping well. Collectors hurried after them, as a secondary defense unit, hexing more death eaters, and harvesting the injured and unconscious ones.

There was no surprise that Harry, Hermione and Ron were Fighters, (though Hermione disliked the term) they proved the most formidable apponents to the dark arts, and fought better than any other. Ginny had joined on them on the proverbial frontline, much to the trio's dismay. They wished she had volunteered to be a Collector, but they all secretly knew she had more passion within her to fight than most of them combined.

"Ginny! Duck!" Harry shouted above the cacophony of the battle, he had spotted an errant blue hex flying towards her head. She obeyed, ducked and dived into a roll to take out another Death Eater.

"Thanks" she shouted back, courtesy not escaping her in times of battle. Hermione ducked behind a tree and dodged several more hexes, running to fight nearer her friends.

"Everyone ok?" she shouted abruptly, taking out two death eaters calmly with a flick of the wand as Collectors scurried forwards to retrieve and clear the battle field. This amplified the horror of the scene as every single corpse or cripple or body, was a loss of their own, lovers and friends to every one.

"Fine" Harry shouted, not turning round as to deplenish his adrenalin, and lose his sense his awareness.

"Help to the left!" Ginny shouted, as around ten Death Eaters were charging her way, they were quickly taken down with the combined power of both of them.

"Anybody seen Ron?" Hermione screamed out over the noise.

"No" they shouted in unison taking down more Death Eaters.

"Bloody Hell!" they heard in the distance, and all smiled inwardly and breathed a sigh of relief to know he's still alive.

"Ron get 'ere" Harry shouted, and the familiar red-head bounded over the damp soil to fight along side them.

"You alright Gin?" he said out of concern, "You lot n'all" he grunted, again not forgetting manners in battle.

"Fine" they all sighed in return. The numbers of the Death Eaters were dwindling, and they seemingly started to disapparate off the battle field of Hogwarts front lawn.

"'ere I think we're winning" Ron grinned, and with a crack all of the Death Eaters were gone. "Spoke too soon" he gulped. They all glared at him.

"What's going on? Ginny questioned.

"I don't know" Harry said befuddled.

"Beats me" Ron agreed. Hermione was in quiet thought for a while.

"They're regrouping. They've signalled eachother some how, and they'll come back. I suppose good news is they'll be less of them, but I suppose they're going to be more determined, more tactical." she sighed. Harry turned to address everyone else fighting, hundreds of people looking for his leadership.

"Right, let's use this time wisely, check and heal the injured, and move the dead, they're getting in the way" he said with a hint of a tear in his eye. He had not intended to be heartless, but he knew from Sirius and Dumbledore, that there was no magic powerful enough to bring back the dead, and with time he had given up all hope. "It's not over. Far from it, so be ready for anything, and good luck everyone" he smiled. With that he left his friends and ran to tend to the sick.

"Hermione, with me. Now." Ginny shouted, and dragged her to tend to some members of the DA she couldn't remember the names of. Thankfully still breathing, Hermione and Ginny helped heal them.

"Are you ok?" Hermione said in an expression of deep concern.

"Hermione I have something to say to you" Ginny swallowed hard, levitating the girls injured arm into the air to heal it better. "I'm sorry, but if neither of us didn't get out alive, I want you to know this" Though she wasn't really scared by the battle it took all of her courage to power the words out of her mouth. "I'm in love with you. I love you." she repeated herself. "I think you're amazing, ethical, beautiful, so so intelligent. and I love you" she stated seeming to affirm herself. Whilst Hermione looked on bafffled, Ginny pulled Hermione into a passionate kiss, she could taste blood and tears in the form of metallic brine, but neither of them cared. Hermione was almost crying when Ginny withdrew. "I'm sorry" she said. There was a moment of silence, broken only by the young girl infront of them stirring back to consciousness and reaching for her wand.

Harry was shouting Ginny loudly from accross the field.

"Ginny. Look. Not now. You can't put this on me now. You just can't it's not fair. It's not right" Hermione sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Ginny stared at her, tears welling up in her eyes as Harry's shouting grew to a crescendo. "Will you just bloody go" Hermione gestured to Harry's direction as she turned her back on Ginny to tend to someone else. While Hermione absent mindedly healed some other anonymous third years, her mind on the revelation of Ginny, that she knew she couldn't think about now, as much as she would have loved to sprint accross the lawn and kiss her again, regardless of how she actually felt.

Ginny ran to find Harry as he lay next to a stationary red-headed corpse.

"No" she muttered. "No", she kept repeating.

"I'm sorry it was no use. I, I've tried everything, it must have been an avada..." he trailed off. Percy lay dead on the floor at Harry's feet.

"I loved you. I promise" she cried, sighing that it was too late to reconcile with her brother's ways. Ron was rapidly approaching. At first he didn't appaear to be registering any emotion, then he looked angry. He was a bitter cocktail of love and hate towards Percy, and it was evident in the pain on his face. He was torn visibly, his eyebrows arched in concern and sadness, and his lip quivering, but a steely resolve of how Percy betrayed them shone in his eyes, though they glistened with tears. Ron said nothing more, he stared at Ginny, then glanced at Harry for a while, who looked and felt every inch apologetic.

There was a loud crack as a few hundred Death Eaters appeared on the edge of the lawn marching relentlessly towards them, lead unmistakeably by the reptilian form of Voldemort and shining white hair of Lucius Malfoy by his side.

"They're back." Harry stated, there was a collective feeling of stomachs dropping to people's feet, and hearts rising in people's chests. They had all assembled in a row, ready for a clash of epic proportions. Harry could feel bile rising inside him. "Leave him to me" he said.

"But.." a well meaning objector interjected

"LEAVE HIM TO ME" Harry insisted with terrifying force. Within minutes, Voldemort was dead, some unforgiveable curses, in some cases, are extremely forgiveable. It unnerved Harry to see his nemesis so weak and so willing to die, granted he fought for his life, but Harry suspected his heart (What a curious notion) was not in it. And with one curse that everyone shuddered at the sound of he was dead. Lucius was next, in a fit of cursing Harry had killed him. This bothered Harry greatly, he could have spared his life, sent him to a fate worse than death, but a primal urge within him and begged him to kill. Harry thought he was no better than Lucius now as they would both kill just because they thought one another were right. The remaining Death Eaters were cleared up like road kill, but the death toll to the fairer side was immense, many of their friends were killed, some vapourised beyond belief. Hermione cried on her knees when she heard the knews, she should have told her when she had the chance. Ginny Weasley's body was never found.


	2. Chapter 2

And so that was how it transpired, Ginny was never found. A grave was marked, a service was held, tears were shed, but none of it mattered to any of the trio. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real. No body, no grief. It had taken years for any of them to accept it.

Ron was twisted into a bad way over Percy's death. The family were all ashamed, they had ostracised him, his behaviour had been less than familiar, but there wasn't a Weasley who wasn't guilty of that to some extent. Fred and George had cast off tradition in so many ways, and they weren't even punished, infact, rewarded. Ron had broken the rules countless times, disobeyed orders, stole a car, in the muggle world that would have entitled him to a few years in a juvenile correctional facility, or a brief stint in reform school, but no, he was rewarded too. It seemed the Weasley's were forgiving, selectively so.

Ginny's death struck them further. It had taken Molly nearly two years to stop setting a place at the table for her. For a while Hermione lived with them, it was clear from the way Arthur and Molly smiled at her that she had taken on the role of surrogate daughter, after a while they even gave Ginny's room to Hermione, and shortly after she moved out. Arthur continued as if nothing happened, he managed to keep it up for nearly two years before his breakdown (the event that prompted Molly to start the acceptance course of the grief process). He was however fine again, by fine, meaning a vague semblence of a wide spread notion of "fine". A glint in his eyes was gone, a piece of him missing, unless he could resurrect dead, he was in no hurry to get those missing pieces of himself back. Molly continued in much the same vein, she had bore those children she had their moments, their first word's, she dealt with their first boyfriends and girlfriends, their first day of school's their first everything. She also had to cope with things a mother shouldn't her childs last moments. Their last words, their last kiss, their last breath, but Molly never thought about it much, thinking things over often made her feel like her head would explode, and an intense feeling would well up inside her and she would just hold her head and exhale slowly until it subsided, and the thought of things like sewing patterns and recipes for chicken.

Ron continued to blame himself for his sisters death in his own unique way, (not that when he talked about it Harry and Hermione were quick to share the blame, each believing they were solely responsible for her death). He had insisted on her role as collector but was not strong enough to enforce the roll. If he had been quicker with his wand, better with the research, stricter to his sister, he could have prevented it. Though there was no doubt that those were factors, no one was at fault for the lost, but it didn't stop the massive secret suffering that usually happened in the moments before sleep, in which everyone who had known Ginny was plagued with "ifs" almost to the point of insanity, then they would all sleep a dreamless sleep, or dream up a horrifying nightmare, emphasised by its basis in fact.

Ron continued to live in the upper floor of the Burrow, the second floor belonging to Fred and George when they were home, Ginny's room was temporarily Hermione's then it was empty, just the way it was, Ginny's hair still on the pillow. The 1st floor was Arthur and Molly's and they used it often, the bedroom was the only thing with no traces of the missing children, there were fewer memories in their bedroom than any others, so that is where they sat, often in silence.

Fred and George were worse for wear, in St Mungoes, in a specific wing just for battle injuries and the mental scars that came attached. George had become quiet, a mute actually, Fred was also withdrawn but still had the ability to talk and function correctly, he acted as a interperator for his brother, and they often spoke without the need for words. They were kept there for observation, there was no doubt they would still be at home if it wasn't for the violent flashbacks the pair had (unusually at the same time) where they would drift out of consciousness and still appear to be awake and would attack people in this frame of mind thinking they were still at the battle, George had even blinded Fred in one eye with a hex. They did what they could, wands were confiscated, but occasionally they would use wandless magic, and failing that would just attack anyone around with their bare hands. It was sad, and nobody enjoyed visiting them very much, it brought back memories of the battle that were so vivid they could still taste the blood, hear the hexes, smell the dirt.

Nobody saw much of Harry, he had lived in Godric's hollow on his own for a long while he had truly withdrawn within himself. He still made the effort to visit The Burrow everyday, even though it wasn't what he would call pleasant, but he enjoyed the sense of family he got from it, and it helped him sometimes when he was feeling particularly solitary. He had shut himself away, he had lost a close emotional tie, and he had blamed himself, and he had done a terribly good job of convincing himself that he was a killer, and that nobody wanted to befriend a killer. He was not the only killer, all of the trio killed once. It was the least of their worries, a last defence, a "them or me" situation, Hermione was responsible for the loss of a slytherin girl who had cornered her and used crucio. Occasionally she would still have dreams about the pain, only overlayed to the soundtrack of that girls parents, though in retrospect they were probably killed or incarcerated in battle, either way the only person who remembered the girl was Hermione, and she never forgot.

Hermione woke up on Ginny's bed, she was crying, another nightmare. It was a milder one this time, it translated psychological into her feelings for Ginny and how they were so rudely cut short. She sighed, and as she clutched the bed clothes and found a red hair entwined around her ring finger. She cried more, and there was a gentle knock at the door. It was Harry, in nothing but his boxers, shyly scratching his head as he padded in, beaming a shaft of light onto the carpet as he opened the door.

"I couldn't sleep and I heard you up" he smiled, and walked to the bed and sat on it.

"I've got to get out of here" Hermione sighed, "I keep finding pieces of her, hair, notes she'd written. She's just so reluctant to leave my head, it's like she wants to stay here, and just make a home in my head, and drive me insane" she smiled. Harry exhaled through his nose to show some mirth towards her.

"I have nothing, nothing to remind me of anyone. I have nothing other than the fact I live in my parents house, and I dealt with that years ago, I feel like I'm reopening old wounds" he sighed again, and Hermione rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"I have a plan" she muttered. "I've been thinking about this for ages. I could get a flat up the road, because I obviously can't leave Molly and Arthur like that. But what if you come with me? I could use some company and so could you. And a place with no memories sounds so bloody tempting" she smiled.

"I suppose I could, but what about Godric's Hollow? I don't like the idea of it sat on it's own" he said, ignoring the fact he may have sounded somewhat silly saying that about a house, especially at the ripe old age of twenty seven.

"Easy, give it to Remus and Tonks, they'll be glad of it. Remus living in his old best friends house, starting his own family, making new memories" she said emphasizing the last part by squeezing his hand.

"You're right. I feel wrong living there, I haven't had a girlfriend for years, it's a family home. Far too big for me." he smiled, and gave Hermione a hug and lay in bed next to her. He cuddled her from behind as she started to drift to sleep.

"G'night 'Mione" he sighed as he nuzzled into her, she was his only comfort, and he was hers.

"G'night Harry".

Morning arrived, and brought with it a better day than any of them had hoped. It was breakfast when Harry and Hermione descended. Ron sat eating toast at the table, and Hermione caught a glimpse of Molly very nearly making an extra plate of breakfast and pausing to think more of it. They stood at the head of the table and nodded toward eachother. Hermione cleared her throat and began.

"We have something to tell you" she laughed at how horribly cliche it was, as if she were announcing an engagement or pregnancy.

"Yer not shaggin' are yer?" Ron said, spraying toast everywhere. Old habits die hard as they say, especially the bad ones.

"Ronald!" Molly chastised but let out a small laugh all the same.

"God no!" Hermione declared, Harry looked offended and she shot him an apologetic glance.

"No we're not" Harry corrected with a firm and masculine nod.

"We're moving out" Hermione continued, and was almost heartbroken by the way the Weasley's were staring at her. "No, no!" she exclaimed, "Not like that, I just noticed there's a flat to rent up the road, I honestly wouldn't dream of leaving you in the lurch!"

"And I'll be moving in with her. I don't know who I was kidding really. It was a family home, and I haven't even had a potential girlfriend round there for about 5 years, let alone a potential wife!" he laughed. "It's going to a proper family now...A real family" he smiled.

"Who?" Arthur enquired, "You're not selling your father's house are you?" exclaimed Arthur.

"Lord no!" Harry chuckled, "I'm giving it away" he waited just long enough for the shock to register on their faces before completing "To Remus and Tonks of course" he gave a boyish grin, which was still his trademark.

"Oh Harry that's wonderful!" Molly grinned, rushing him into a hug.

"Your father's best friend living in his house, James would be so happy!" Arthur beamed.

"Tonks must be quite far along now won't she?" Molly enquired.

"Aye, anyday now" Ron spat again. As if magically prompted, Remus' head appeared in the fire.

"Hullo?" he enquired. They all ran to the fire to greet him.

"Tonks had the baby!" he grinned. He was greeted by collective bouts of Great, Wonderful, That's amazing, and other positive hyperbole. "There was a problem though" he watched as everyones face wrinkled with worry. "Two of 'em came out!" he smiled.

"You bloody Marrauder!" Harry smiled with a familiar twinkle in his eyes as he commented on the rather cruel trick Remus had just played.

"Twins!" Molly grinned.

"Henry James Sirius Lupin, and Elizabeth Lily Virginia Lupin, respectively" They all beamed.

"A boy and a girl, that's gorgeous" Hermione smiled.

"It was very nice of you to name them that" Arthur smiled with a tear in his eye.

"Well you'll all be pleased to know they're fine, and healthy, and bloody mischeivous little tykes!" he laughed "I can't wait to let these little terrors loose on Hogwarts"

"That'll be a while yet!" smiled Ron.

"It'll fly by! Look how grown up you all are, I remember Harry being a baby, and now if I didn't know any better I'd say he was James himself!" he finished the last part with a lump in his throat. "Well I best be off, I have thousands of doting father duties to attend to no doubt! Tonks send her love!"

"Hi Tonks!" everyone shouted, they heard a faint reply of "Hi everyone"

"You should see her, labour's made her hair go all sorts of different colours, little lizzie was born with neon green hair!" he smiled. They all laughed and wished him fare well.

"Well I have stuff to pack" Hermione broke the silence.

"I'm going to go arrange the rent on the flat" Harry confirmed and without another word had apparated, presumably to Gringotts.

"I'll miss you!" Molly sighed.

"Don't be silly, I'll be just round the corner!" she smiled. "It'll be an adventure."


	3. Chapter 3

"Boxes over there Herm" Harry gesticulated to an open space. There were four boxes in total, two to each respective new housemate. They were stood beside each other, Harry with his hands shoved roughly into his pockets as he rocked on his feet and Hermione with her weight resting on one hip and the other foot slightly forward. Her arms folded. She huffily announced

"We really don't have enough stuff" Hermione only had a box of clothes, and the rest was papers and books.

"I have what my parents gave me. Some clothes. And erm, that appears to be it" he sighed. They unpacked and were still disappointed by the lack of material possession and sat on boxes sipping fire whiskey. He raised a glass to her.

"To us. New memories, house mates and best friends for as long as we live!" he smiled.

"Which is hopefully quite a while yet!" she grinned.

"Which looks bloody promising on the dark arts front. I've been an auror, what? Six years? The most I've bloody done is go to Mrs Pratchet's house, because her cat knocked over the bread bin and she thought it was the ruddy Dark Lord himself returning" Harry laughed as he sipped his firewhiskey.

"I know a bit of drama wouldn't go amiss" she sighed, thinking she should be careful what she wished for.

"This is great, but I have to be back at work tomorrow" he sighed.

"Aye me too. I suppose it's nice though that they can shut the ministry if we want a break, not that sorting books isn't completely fascinating. I might want a transfer to the auror department because I think that's clearly where all the action is" she laughed.

"I suppose I get to go and see things, erm" he scratched his head.

"Are you ok?" she said tentatively rubbing his arm in the process.

"Fine" he sighed. In truth he wasn't used to all this attention. He was used to being alone, it had begun in habit, and then it had swallowed him in complacency. Though it was nice that he would never be alone, and if he ever needed to vent, or cry, or just talk to someone, he could just open a door and his best friend would be there with him. He loved the new set up, but it would take some getting used to, it was tapping his social energy reserve. When he had been inside himself and his own solitude for so long that he had forgotten what effort it was just to talk to someone. Though his visits to the Burrow were frequent they never required him to speak much, as the Weasley's just valued him for simply being there, another body that filled up all the empty space.

"Hey, Herm. Maybe that hot junior librarian is there? Katie? Was that her name, I've forgotten it's been nearly a month" he grinned and pushed Hermione playfully.

"Yes, her name is Katie" Hermione let out a calm smile.

"And?" she smiled.

"And nothing Mr Potter. When you get a girlfriend you're allowed to pass judgement" she glared at him carefully.

"Girlfriend eh?" he smiled.

"Not as such. We went out for a few meals and all the usual bollocks you have to wade through to know someone properly, I've even been to her flat..." she trailed off.

"What's it like?" he questioned, she looked back at him with her eyebrows contorted into the strangest shape, and he explained himself. "You can always tell a lot about someone by their flat...Well not our flat. We're not...empty"

"Well, it was like my first flat, but with more pictures on the walls, loads of books, nice artwork, she was more into music than I was, and had a few old vinyls and such, and stacks of tapes. It was messy in a clean way, and clean in a homely way" she nodded to herself, mug clutched in both hands.

"Sounds perfect" he smiled.

"Yeah she's nice, I haven't spoken to her for a while though. I'll see her tomorrow no doubt" she sighed.

"Speaking of. I'm fucking shattered" Harry smiled. Hermione gave him a soft glare that said "language" she had been giving him that particular look for the last fifteen years, still he never learned. "Night, flat mate" he said the last part sweetly as if savouring in the simple delight of someone's company he loves. He gave her a kiss on the top of the head and went to his new room.

"Night" she shouted after him and smiled going to her own room.

"Harry!" a blistering shout woke him from his sleep, he wandered bleary-eyed into the kitchen where Hermione was sat on the floor with a box for a makeshift table.

"Eggy-bread!" Harry grinned and sat opposite her, eating his breakfast.

"First day back, I can't have you being unprepared!" she smiled.

"I can get used to this" he said, ramming more eggy-bread into his mouth.

"Well don't" Hermione grinned and magically cleaned the dishes. "I'm off to work" and she had apparated before Harry had chance to finish his breakfast. Harry dutifully cleaned up and apparated to the Ministry, where he would sit with Ron and they would talk about girls and broomsticks, and flying, and occasionally going out on a call, to some occult obsessed teen-wizard they would most likely have to dish out a "good talking to".

Hermione had apparated to find the library closed, and Katie huddled outside on the steps.

"Morning" Hermione nodded, conjuring her a cup of tea. "Have you been out here long?"

"Erm" she shivered.

"Come on, Get in" Hermione rummaged for a key for the external library entrance, it was outside the ministry at the top, since the inside one had been jammed shut by an unruly ghost who refused to let them in. Katie was a skinny young girl, light brown hair that rested on her shoulders lightly. She was twenty-three and had finished her training under the ministry that year. She was unusually intelligent, and fairly positive, Hermione often pondered if that would have been the way she turned out if her life had contained more happiness and less tragedy. She liked music, and in many ways was like Hermione but slightly less bookish, and more what people would classify as "cool". She still didn't have many friends, and was always early to work and late to leave, though how much of that depended on her glaringly obvious attraction to Hermione remained to be seen.

"I wouldn't bother. Ministry's closed again" Katie said quietly, obviously not socially familiar enough with eye contact to manage looking into Hermione's eyes for very long, and making it look more like she was chasing a blue bottle around with her eyes.

"Why? If it wasn't so obviously dull, anyone would think there'd be trouble!" Hermione said, exasperated.

"Can you remember Slughorn, and how he went a bit, well...mad?" she looked tentatively upon Hermione with a wrinkled brow, she knew to be careful around things relating to the battle. Whenever it was brought up, accidentally on Katie's own accord, or by a third party, Hermione got a dead look in her eye, like all life had drained out of her in seconds. It was cold, and just looking at it gave Katie a pain in her heart. Nobody knew what she was thinking about at those times. Except Hermione.

Ginny had left her, Hermione was angry, angry at a ghost, angry at nothing but a memory, air and dust and thoughts. And it didn't make sense to be angry at something that was no longer real, so she quickly and dutifully always snapped out of it, though it was getting harder. Ginny had opened Hermione to feelings she had been too busy to acknowledge, and gave her a kiss she tried quickly to forget, which she had the rest of her life to constantly think about. Lying in Ginny's bed on her own, trying so hard that her temples throbbed and her tears stung, she would try and piece it all together, and remember it. It was painful to remember, but it was painful being without her. Hermione had loved Ginny, since her fifth year. There was nothing remarkable about the day, (16th of December, 10 years ago), Ginny had come to meet her, and they walked around the grounds laughing at what some of the people in her year were up to, and eating sandwiches in gloved hands. Hermione smiled over at the figure, wrapped in all her winter clothes and a trademark Weasley jumper, and their eyes lingered for longer than needed, and that was that, Hermione fell in love. Hermione would trace that moment now. She could still remember that as clear as day as it wasn't marred by battles, or war, or death, it was just what it was, innocence and love with nothing in the way. The kiss was harder to remember. Hermione remembered she was crying, as she had wished for a day where she could kiss Ginny, and when it finally came she was snatched away, her wildest dreams and her worst nightmares rendered reality in one night.

"Hermione?" Katie asked, Hermione had drifted away again.

"Oh sorry, yeah Slughorn?" she sighed, sipping her own tea and perching on the stone steps beside Katie.

"Well, he made a model rocket out of chocolate frog boxes, and enchanted it to fly, then he flew it over Trafalgar Square, and sprinkled a memory potion onto all the muggles." she sighed, stifling a smirk "And threw chocolate frogs on them".

"So?" Hermione impatiently added at the near-to-laughter Katie.

"It's taken half the ministry to track down the chocolate frogs alone! Then the others to tackle his potion and wipe the memories of the muggles." she said, almost laughing yet again.

"God, they're not putting him in Azkaban are they?" she sighed.

"St Mungoe's" she paused for a while. It was wise of her to not say any words, as Hermione was formulating plans in her head of what would happen to Slughorn, and Katie just looked on, like an emotional gooseberry.

"We could do the book-run today" Hermione stated merely suggesting something to do. "You can go home If you like, I've managed it a few times before alone, and you would probably like an extra day off." She sighed.

"Hermione, I've been off work for nearly a month, I've only been on a few emergency library calls." Hermione butted in…

"Emergency library calls? Bugger all has happened at the ministry in the last few years let alone months, what could be so urgent about a book?"

"It was one of the minister's staff. Wanted a book and couldn't remember the name of, thought it would be perfectly polite to floo me at three in the morning. Anyway that's not the point, I've had too much time off, and I've missed being around you, I'll come with you" she sighed, saying it all in one breath.

"Fine. We have to go to a bookshop in Hogsmeade to pick up some stock for the Ministry, and then there's a wizarding library somewhere near Somerset who were going to donate some of their old books to Hogwarts. We can go and do that, we'll apparate to the library first, makes sense." She stated and with a crack had disappeared, followed closely by Katie, leaving her teacup behind.

A flustered Katie appeared by Hermione's side, as she wore a "I was waiting for you" look upon her face.

"Granger, here for the books." Hermione stated. An elderly man with jam-jar glasses stood about four feet tall was perched on a pack of books that were in turn perched on a stool. He surveyed down his nose at the girl to see if it was indeed who she said she was.

"Hermione Granger?" he enquired. Hermione flashed red with the thought of recognition. Every so often someone would ask her about the battle or about Harry, and why he kept out of public view. She hated answering – trying to be polite but at the same time so angry with the questioner that they had opened up old wounds. There was also always a few seconds where she thought for a moment it might have been the girl's parents. The girl Hermione murdered.

"Yes" she blushed.

"My. What a brave girl! So brave"

"No I'm really not" she sighed. "Can I have the books"

"Nonsense! Such courage, a bright young thing. How are the Weasley's that lovely boy of theirs was killed."

"And their daughter" she said, somewhat incredulously.

"They had a daughter too? How tragic, oh yes I remember, Georgia." He said.

"Ginny."

"Bless you"

"GINNY! HER NAME WAS GINNY" Hermione was frantic at the fact that a battle a real, live battle where she lost someone she loved deeply, was nothing more these days than a conversation piece to a doddering old librarian. Hermione burst into tears and ran out onto the vast old house's gravel drive. She was sobbing on the floor when she felt an arm on her shoulder.

"Hey, hey" Katie said rubbing Hermione's back comfortingly. A feeling of warmth engulfed Hermione from the toes up. "I took care of the books. And I told that man to watch what he's saying" Hermione looked up through her tear stained eyes to see Katie still wrought with concern that even what she had just said had brought back memories for Hermione.

"It's ok Katie. You don't have to tiptoe around me like this" she sighed. Katie was sat next to her still holding Hermione as she slowly stopped crying. "Katie?"

"Mmm?" a quiet Katie replied.

"Kiss me" Hermione, said quietly, Katie quietly obeyed and their lips brushed and breath rushed and they had a soft kiss. Not a quick peck on the cheek, and not anything to offend (except homophobes), something you wouldn't want your mother to see, but didn't mind strangers seeing.

"Thank you" Hermione said.

"That was, erm, a pretty strange request, if you don't mind me saying so. Is everything alright?" she said, breathless and trying hard not to smile too much.

"Just for that second. I thought that all the bad inside me would just swallow me up. Completely consume me. But you're lovely and nice, and pretty and warm, and just a total opposite of everything that goes on inside my head…" she trailed off.

"I understand" Katie said quietly. There was an intense pause while Hermione finished her crying. Katie at this time felt a bit prescriptive, but continued to hold her hand until she felt ok again.

"Bugger this, let's go to the pub." She laughed.

"Ok" Katie smiled back.

"I know where we can go" Hermione said. She was in reference to a small pub just outside Diagon Alley. It was muggle, but Hermione preferred pubs that way, and it was never busy which was rare for any pub in London. Harry and her sometimes went there after work, the people were friendly and the atmosphere was perfect for unwinding.

Hermione lead the way there and they got a seat by the window.

"What are you wanting?" Hermione smiled. She was perfectly comfortable with going to muggle environments. Being muggle born she knew about most things, she struggled with new technology but was getting better. Every so often they would have to go to a muggle library or museum to get a much sought after book, so she always had her muggle clothes on underneath, and always carried pounds with her as well as galleons, sickles and knuts.

"Just a pint" Katie smiled, reaching in her purse.

"No, don't, I'll get this one." And Hermione walked to the bar. She wasn't really prepared by the woman stood behind the bar. Beautiful in every sense of the word, she was slightly smaller than Hermione, and roughly the same age. She had dark brown hair, matched by piercing blue eyes. Her smile was infectious, and the way she looked at Hermione almost made her believe in love at first sight. Hermione could have stood forever just watching the girl, rejoicing in the way she moved in simple beauty, instead she stopped mooning over her and ordered a drink.

"Two pints please" she smiled.

"I wouldn't have had you down as a pint drinker" the other girl blurted out. Hermione was shocked that this girl had presumed she knew her. The girl meanwhile was almost visibly crying, with tears in her eyes but not falling. And uncomfortably shifting her weight between legs and playing with her own hands with such ferocious force that Hermione chanced she may actually pull her fingers off.

"And you know me do you?" Hermione smirked.

"Maybe I'd like to" the girl smiled nervously, pulling on a draught of lager. Hermione did nothing but cock an eyebrow provocatively. She was truly useless at flirting and that hadn't changed. The girl set one drink down on the counter top. "Lucy" she extended her hand and Hermione shook it. It felt familiar and strange all at once, and all Hermione could think about was how she wanted, nay, needed more of this touch.

"Hermione." She replied with a firm handshake.

"That's an unusual name" she laughed in a strange way.

"Yeah it is" Hermione sighed. Whilst Lucy was pulling the second pint, Hermione scribbled down her number on a beer mat, while Lucy occasionally stole glances at her, and what she was doing. Hermione thought better of it and pocketed it.

"Four pounds thirty please" Lucy smiled. Hermione paid and left a generous tip, and went to sit with Katie. Hermione had her mind on other things, namely the beautiful bar maid, and wasn't listening to Katie very much, and was still nursing her first pint. Harry rang her at this point which alerted her from her almost sleep.

"Hello?" she answered.

"I thought you'd be using this" he replied.

"Yeah, I'm in town" she said. They didn't much like talking on the phone and kept it abrupt.

"Isaac's?" he questioned

"Yeah" she responded quickly.

"Be there in about five minutes" and he hung up.

"Harry?" Katie questioned.

"Yeah, he sounded quite stressed, he's coming here, presumably for a few" she laughed.

"Yeah, I bet he's had his first stressful day all year." Laughed and then excused herself to go to the toilet.

"Oh hello Harry" Hermione smiled at him.

"Bloody hell-the day I've had-You're on your last dregs!-Let me go to the bar-need a drink" Harry quickly bought a drink for him and Hermione.

"You here with that girl? Blimey-that barmaid wasn't half weird"

"I liked her" Hermione muttered as Katie returned.

"Fancy her like?" Katie's ears pricked up and she turned to stare at what Harry was saying as Hermione shot Harry a "wait until we get home" look. Harry caught on and smiled at the chemistry between Hermione and Katie.

Time passed as Harry recalled his only busy day since the battle, and they were out the door and ready to leave when Hermione thumbed a beer mat in her pocket.

"Erm, one minute, I forgot my phone" she said hurriedly, making excuses and running back in side to come face to face with Lucy. So close in fact that she knocked her to the floor.

"Ow" Lucy simply stated.

"Sorry" Hermione apologetically gushed, "I came to give you this, and I have no idea why, but now I feel stupid and awful" she said playing with the beer mat

"No no" Lucy sighed, and rubbed Hermione's arm as she got to her feet. Her touch was electric and addictive and Hermione let it linger for too long. "I was running after you to give you this!" she exclaimed, handing Hermione her number, scribbled on a near identical beer mat.

"Me? Really? Why?" Hermione questioned all at once.

"Because you're smiley and nice" she stated. "And for some strange reason I'm unbelievably attracted to you." She laughed. "I couldn't let you leave, thinking I might not see you again" she said, musing that it might be coming on too strong, but Hermione merely nodded in agreement, and handed her, her own number in return,

"I, erm. Have to go" said Hermione and ran out of the door.


	4. Chapter 4

"So how did you even know I was gay?" Hermione said into the mouthpiece, just minutes into her first proper conversation with Lucy on the phone.

"I saw you with that girl." Lucy replied.

"Ahh, Katie" Hermione explained.

"She your girlfriend then?" Lucy said, less than impressed.

"I don't really have many girlfriends. I got really hurt once, really hurt. I lost the one girl I've ever loved. Nothing's ever really amounted to much since."

"I know how that can feel" she sighed wistfully into the phone. Hermione questioned herself, baffled she was telling a near stranger such personal things.

"Is it alright if I see you again soon. There's something strange and I'm not sure what, but I'm drawn to you"

"Of course, I finish work at eleven tomorrow, come in the bar just before closing."

"Ok, looking forward to it, erm, see you tomorrow" and Hermione hung up.

"Who was that?" Harry enquired, eating some cereal.

"Erm, Katie" she offered and Harry just nodded. "Can't you do yourself something proper to eat!" she sighed and went to the kitchen to make some food.

"You never make food for me, except that breakfast last week. Are you ok? Are you getting any?"

"Harry don't be so vulgar, and no. I'm not." She sighed.

"Liar." He said, sticking his tongue out.

"Maybe" she taunted back, and left it there.

The next day Hermione wandered to Isaac's the bar where Lucy worked, and walked in. Lucy was the only one in there.

"Hey! Come in!" she said, walking towards her rapidly and shutting and locking the door behind her. Hermione noticed she was always on the verge of tears, but wasn't effected by it.

"Are you ok?" she said quietly, taking a seat at the bar while Lucy cleaned in front of her.

"I've never been better." She smiled. "Yourself?"

"Ok" she sighed.

"Just ok? Here" she said handing her a bottle of wine. "Get started, I'll lock the back door and be back, pour me one" Hermione obeyed and sat with two glasses of wine. "Sit on the sofa's" she sighed "They're way more comfortable" and then she took a long slow sip of the glass. "So where are you from?" Lucy babbled all in one go.

"Surrey actually, born and bred. Went to school near there, and I'm a librarian now" she was careful not to lie, but not to give away her magic either.

"Really? I'd never have guessed" Hermione noticed a sense of sarcasm hidden in her wry smile and sensed she was just being rude.

"Yourself?" she returned politely.

"I've been in foster care since I was seventeen, I was behind on exams and stuff, so caught up, went to Uni. Did the most boring call centre job until last year, and bought this pub. And I am currently twenty five getting on twenty six." She smiled and drank yet more wine. "Sorry I didn't ask your age…wait, let me guess." She paused. "erm, twenty six going on twenty seven"

"Well done" she smiled. Hermione was studying Lucy intensely, trying to look through every pore of her skin. There was just something about her, an essence that Hermione instantly loved, Her smile seemed so familiar and reminded her of happier times, her laugh was infectious and her eyes glimmered with excitement whenever Hermione chanced to look. She was now certain to believe in past lives, and love at first sight. Hermione listened intently, and then Lucy leaned in to kiss her, and she just surrendered herself.

The kiss was electric, spine tingling. Hermione was grabbing at the girl wanting her flesh, and her taste and her scent all over her, and the Lucy kissed her deeply, and at that moment, Hermione felt sick. She pulled away. Quickly. Grabbed her coat and stood up.

"Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?" Lucy sighed, clearly not wanting to upset Hermione.

"No. I just can't. I'm sorry."

"Is this about Katie?" she questioned.

"A little bit, it's mostly to do with Ginny. I don't know if I should tell you" Hermione said flustered.

"You can tell things to me, I can be a mediator. Please don't get upset." She paused. "Who's Ginny?" she sighed.

"When I was at boarding school, I fell in love with this girl, and she kissed me, and told me that she loved me. I told her it wasn't the right time, and minutes later she was murdered and her body was never found." She said, waiting for it to impact. "I suppose I never really got over it".

"That's awful" she said, returning the sentiment. "I know how it feels. I loved a girl at school. I told her and she wasn't very pleased. So I left, I couldn't take that rejection and I ran away from home." Lucy sighed as Hermione inched closer.

"I'm sure she loved you too. At least you're not still hung up on a dead girl" she laughed.

"Maybe she's closer than you think. In your heart you'll know" Lucy smiled back, and kissed her again. To Hermione's surprise, Lucy was crying. The saline mix of tears and fresh kisses was too much, but Hermione quietly continued. Every moment of it reminded her of Ginny, and this was the closest she'd ever get again. She kissed like Ginny, she tasted like Ginny, she moved and smiled just like Ginny. Hermione had found a blank canvas to paint her love onto.

"I should go, my flat mate will be wondering where I am" she smiled.

"Oh, Who's your flat mate?" she enquired.

"A boy called Harry. He's really nice, he's a bit, well, intense. And some people find it quite hard to live with him, but I love him to pieces, and he moved in with me last week" Lucy smiled in a very strange way, a mix of pride and knowing. Hermione shrugged it off.

"He was the one in here with you?" she said in more of a statement than a question. Hermione nodded.

"He'll be wondering where I am" she sighed, and stood up.

"Don't go" Lucy muttered.

"I have to" Hermione started to walk out.

"Same time Friday?" Lucy weakly offered.

"Of course" Hermione smiled and left. From the other side of the door Lucy was sure she heard a loud crack, and smiled.

"Where have you been?" Harry questioned when she came in the door.

"I was at Katie's" she said quickly, and Harry smirked at her.

"Is that why Katie floo'd asking for you?" Harry was nearly laughing.

"Fine, fine. You got me. I was at Isaac's – The bar." She added, just so he didn't think she was at a strange man's house.

"This late?" he said.

"Lock-in. Lucy asked me to go. She's the barmaid." Hermione stated calmly.

"The weird one?" Harry recalled.

"She's not weird." Hermione merely reconfirmed. There was an immense pause. "I know it's wrong Harry" she said, hugging him closely. "She reminds me of Ginny, so much, the way she speaks and smiles and laughs and smells" she sighed. "and I know it feels like I'm leading Katie on, but I can't let Ginny go again."

"Hermione." He said in a cautionary tone, which she took to mean, "you're being very silly" which inside she knew. "You know, she's not Ginny, she can't be. However much she reminds you of Ginny, it's not her. You can't throw away a good thing because of a memory, no matter how real it is." He said, stroking her hair as she cried softly.

"I want her back" she sighed.

"We all do" he whispered back.


	5. Chapter 5

Lucy now resembled Ginny so much that Hermione would see her everyday. She would get home from work, see Harry, go to Katie's and talk to her, then go to see Lucy on and evening.

"Where do you go Herm?" Katie muttered into Hermione's ear.

"What do you mean?" she replied innocently.

"I know you don't go home after you've been here" she said in a defiant manner uncharacteristic of Katie.

"Can I tell you?" she whispered.

"Will I get hurt?" Katie replied, sensibly.

"Maybe" she said, as Katie kissed her forehead.

"I'd like to know" she stated.

"I've met someone" she said calmly. "And she reminds me of Ginny" she paused again. "So much" Hermione was now almost crying. "I've been seeing her, because it feels like being with Ginny again. And Harry's told me not to, and that it's wrong and that it's weird, but I swear it feels like I'm with her again. And I'm sorry Katie, so sorry, it's not like me at all to be chasing stupid things like this. Especially when you're so nice, and I really like you" she sighed all at once.

"Hermione?" she said, lightly grasping her face and gently forcing eye contact. "I really really like you. A lot." She said. "But I know, I'm living in her shadow. You lost your first love and you're probably never going to get over that. And yeah it is weird, and it is a bit wrong what you're doing with this girl, and what you're doing to me. But you honestly can't reckon with a broken heart." She paused. "Grief is a weird thing. It will make you do things that don't make sense." She smiled gently.

"what are you saying?" Hermione pushed gently.

"I'm saying that I like you, That you need to go and see her, and you need to make a decision." She coughed gently. "and I'll still be your friend if you take the slightly strange route" she laughed. She felt alone. She had always known that in the silences and intense pauses in conversation Hermione was recalling her times with Ginny. It was a grief too big for Katie to comprehend, and all she knew was that she had to try to be supportive, because the grief system was strange.

"I swear, she's just like Ginny. It's scary, I'd think they were the same person."

"But you know she's not?" Katie reasoned.

"I don't know" she sighed.

"I think you need to sort yourself out" Katie said, in a semi-harsh tone. "just go ok? I'll talk to you soon, I'll see you at work on Monday" she sighed and held open the door. "Sorry, but I really think you need help" Katie said, tears in her eyes. Hermione sighed gently, started to cry and left.

Hermione felt awful, lonely, ill, sad. At times like this she would turn to Harry, but he would side with Katie.

Hermione wanted to feel. She wanted to feel her, and she knew what she was going to do was the worst thing she would ever do. She apparated with a loud crack from outside Katie's house, to the window under Lucy's bedroom, and started to throw tiny stones at the window. Lucy looked out puzzled.

"Herm?" she said quietly. Looking down at the state Hermione was in. "Stay there, I'll come down and let you in" Sure enough, minutes later the door clicked open and Lucy ushered Hermione inside, she held out a glass of wine to her. "Have that, it'll calm you down. Come upstairs." Hermione was baffled, she hadn't been upstairs before, they usually kept themselves downstairs in the main part of the bar. But a tired Lucy led her to the small flat upstairs.

It was old, and very empty. A Chest at the foot of an iron double bed, an arm chair and a small TV, in the bedroom that seemed to also serve as a living room. Sensing Hermione's thoughts, Lucy stated. "there's only the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. I don't have a living room, if I want to "entertain"" she said pulling her fingers into brackets, "I just stay downstairs. It's pokey up here, I don't really like it." She sat on the bed and folded her legs and she looked positively child like. Hermione assumed the same position opposite her. "Are you ok? You haven't said anything. And it's very strange for you to come at this time."

"I love you" Hermione blurted out.

"What?" Lucy looked back strangely.

"I don't know why, but I do, it feel's like I've loved you all along, and I know you will probably hate me for saying this, but I had to tell you before I exploded. I love you, for all the wrong reasons, but I do. I love you" Hermione blurted.

"Why would I hate you for saying that?" she laughed quietly. "I love you too, but I haven't been honest with you." She sighed. "I need to tell you something, and it's not nice, and I don't know how you'll react" she said quietly.

"Not now" Hermione said firmly, and pushed Lucy back onto the bed. She carefully ran her hands under Lucy's top and felt the skin underneath. Lucy moaned in appreciation, as Hermione kissed her. Her hands snaked under Lucy's form and unhooked her bra, and kissed a trail down her throat, making Lucy tingle, past her neck and onto her collar bone. Lucy switched places with Hermione and rolled her onto her back. Lucy sat up, her legs astride Hermione, took off her top, and shook off her bra. She lay down now, one strong arm propping her hand and kissed Hermione even deeper. With her free hand she scratched a gentle pattern all over Hermione's skin. She moaned and exhaled deeply. Hermione had one hand scratching down Lucy's back and Lucy also responded. Lucy started to unbutton Hermione's jeans with her free hand.

"Do you want this?" Lucy asked quickly through moans of pleasure.

"It's so wrong." Hermione sighed as Lucy continued to stroke up and down her bare thigh.

"We can stop…" Lucy whispered lightly.

"No. I want to" she said and kissed Lucy deeper. Hermione was shy, she had only slept with one other girl. Hermione had learned that you had to really know someone's body for it to feel great. And that the first time was always awkward. She had slept with Katie, three times. She had almost consciously wanted to the first time. It was in the office index room at the library, it was a slow day and there was nothing special about it. But Katie walked into the small office and bumped straight into Hermione, and at that moment you could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. Hermione slammed Katie into the filing cabinet, and that was the first time Hermione slept with a girl. It was rough and needy and overall very sexy. She evaluated that as good sex. The second time she slept with Katie was the first night she went back to Katie's flat. Katie had been telling Hermione the beauty of old vinyl's and she wasn't really listening. It was quiet and they went to bed, and it happened. It wasn't planned or really needed but they slept together, and it was quiet and gentle, and all the things people tell you about sleeping with a girl. Hermione liked that time too. It was then when she had started to really like Katie, and fancied herself getting over Ginny, and being happy with her. Then Lucy happened, and the third time was awkward and it didn't feel nice, and it didn't feel right either.

Hermione traced shapes all over Lucy's skin. Both naked now and both too far into it to ever snap out. Hermione's other hand was busy, as was Lucy's hand. As they were both sweaty, wet and writhing around on each other, kicking the sheets off.

"Don't stop" Lucy muttered and Hermione obeyed, continuing, getting faster, breathing faster, her own breathing getting faster and faster, their moans getting louder. "Fuck" Lucy stated and sighed a long and low sigh that meant only one thing. As she did so though the strangest thing started to happen. Her hair started to flicker like an old TV, the colour flickered from dark moody brown, to lightly ginger-red, and it continued to flicker as Hermione stared on at the panting sweating post-orgasmic girl. As her hair settled on the latter autumnal red, her eyes opened and flickered from piercing blue to a homely familiar brown. It got stranger, as the shape of her face started to ripple and morph, from the slightly defined jaw line now, to a rounder, softer face. Lucy cried out in pain and pleasure as her face changed, she had new nose, new teeth, and new lips. Her skin grew pale, and freckles started to appear and lightly dust her face and skin. Her voice started to morph as she moaned and it squeaked like a pre-pubescent boy, then settled deeper, then changed again into a delicate feminine voice, that though eight years had passed since she had last heard it Hermione knew.

"Ginny."

"I can explain…"


	6. Chapter 6

"Ginny. I knew it. I knew it was you" Hermione said in relief. But then a strange feeling took hold of her and she was suddenly wracked with complete anger. The girl she loved had left her and for eight years had been living happily round the corner without seeing fit that she should let her grieving friends or family know. "You fucking bitch" Hermione stated, no longer smiling, but a look of steely hatred dripping from her cold eyes.

"What?" she replied. Hermione just ignored her as she got her clothes on, she stared one last cold time at the girl she had learned to know, and spat at the floor as she walked out. Leaving a cold and naked girl crying on the bed. She apparated straight to her and Harry's flat.

"Harry wake up!" she screamed, getting in the door.

"For fuck's sake Hermione shut up…" he paused, and adjusted himself. "I'm awake, I'm awake. The dead better have come alive and be walking the earth, or you've woke me up for nothing" he laughed.

"Not funny Harry, It's true!" she stated loudly.

"Z-zombies?" He said scared. He had always carried an irrational fear for zombies.

"No you tit, they don't exist. Ginny!"

"Yes?" Harry looked concerned.

"Ginny is alive. She is Lucy. Well she's been parading as Lucy but she's really Ginny." She said quickly.

"Hermione.." he trailed off. "I think you need some help."

"No Harry honestly! She must have been a animorphmagus!"

"Hermione stop it you're scaring me." He said quietly.

"I need you to be believe me" she said, crying.

"You're fucking disturbed, you can't just come back and say things like this. It's wrong. It's not true." He got up and grabbed her. "We're going to St Mungoe's"

"NO!" she bellowed and had apparated with a crack to Katie's flat. "Katie!" She bellowed coming through the door. Katie appeared in her bedroom doorway in her Pyjamas.

"What's wrong?" she sighed.

"Katie I need you to believe me" she said quickly.

"What is it?" she sighed back,

"Lucy is Ginny. Well, Ginny is Lucy. She's alive"

"Hermione…" she stated in a cautionary tone.

"No, please. Don't patronise me. Honestly, just hear me out."

"Ok" Katie sighed, and conjured a cup of tea for them both.

"I went to Lucy's I didn't have anywhere else to go. And we, had sex" she said really quietly, and looked away to avoid seeing the painful look in Katie's eyes "I know, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have, I was just really upset. And just after, her hair started to flicker like a bad signal on a TV, and her face rippled and changed shape, and then she was just Ginny."

"Hermione, did you speak to her after?"

"I was too angry"

"I see" Katie said quietly. She started to hold Hermione's hand. "Could you have not just seen her because you wanted to see her? It might have made you feel less pain about sleeping with someone else if you knew the other person was Ginny?"

"Are you saying I'm crazy?"

"No, no" she smiled lightly. "It must be stressful not knowing where your emotions lie, and it could easily happen, people often see things that aren't really there, You've read An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge…"

"Yeah, but I swear it was real"

"So did he.."

"No. She really was an animorphmagus"

"Even so… She could have been playing an awful trick on you. If she wasn't a muggle, she'd know what Ginny looked like and could easily have morphed into her, to make you want her more."

"She's not awful"

"You don't know that" she said calmly sipping her tea. "You've tried to tell Harry haven't you" she paused. "And he wouldn't listen…" she added.

"Yes." She shook her head. "But you believe me don't you?"

"Hermione, that's a very big thing to ask of me" she sighed. "I believe that it is possible, however unlikely, that Ginny is alive, and you have found her again…It's late, come on we'll go to bed and we'll go and see Ginny in the morning" she sighed. Hermione followed her, led by the hand into Katie's bed, where Katie cuddled Hermione to sleep.

Hermione awoke in a bed, identical to every other bed around her, with leather straps on her arms, and her wand in a locked box next to her. Katie was sat dutifully next to her on a chair, and holding her hand.

"It was Harry " she stated calmly. Hermione was wiggling and had a cloth in her mouth to stop her speaking, "Promise you won't scream and I'll take it out, I probably shouldn't though" Hermione nodded and pleaded through her eyes. Katie removed the cloth.

"I can't believe it" she said quietly.

"He apparated into my flat, demanded to see you, stunned you and apparated away, I came here to look for you this morning" she sighed. "I thought you might need help. But this is inexcusable" Katie sighed.

"Katie, help me." Hermione urged.

"How?" Katie said, worried.

"Help me escape. I'll find Ginny, and we can give her veritaserum, and we'll see if I'm right. If I'm wrong you have my permission to lock me up and throw away the key"

"Hermione, that's a bit extreme." She said in concern.

"If I prove it, I won't be mad, and Harry owes me an apology!" she laughed. Katie smiled and admired her bravery.

"Ok, but if you don't find her and prove it to be true, you have to promise me that you will come here, just until it's sorted out. I'll stay with you, I promise"

"Ok" Hermione nodded gravely, suddenly flooded with her own self doubt. Katie undid the restraints and kissed her goodbye as she ran outside to apparate.

She was in the nearly deserted pub again.

"Ginny!" she shouted. She repeated it, and Lucy came down.

"Hermione" she nodded.

"Ginny, I know it's you" she sighed.

"So what if it is?" she said standoffishly

"Ginny, they're trying to lock me up. They think I'm crazy!"

"You told them you'd seen a dead person, of course they think you're crazy" she laughed coldly.

"I know you're under there, you have to come clean, they're going to lock me up!" she cried.

"Even if I was Ginny, You'd have to wonder why I wanted to be hidden for so long. Maybe Ginny can't come back because of what she's done."

""What has she done." Hermione spat.

"Well what if she's a killer! What if she killed someone out on that battlefield that she shouldn't have killed, that didn't deserve to die…"

"Ginny is that true?" Hermione sighed.

"Lucy. And it might be true"

"Stop fucking about Gin." Hermione said, crying. "You're not the only one who killed someone who didn't deserve to die" Hermione swallowed at the first time she openly admitted killing the Slytherin girl.

"This Ginny girl was a reject, she had killed, and she had already been rejected by the girl she loved, why should she bother coming back"

"Because I love Ginny, I still do, more than ever and I can't sleep at night sometimes just because I love her. So what if she killed? Her family need her, Her friends need her…"

"She's gone." They were interrupted by the door flying open to reveal Harry stood with his wand out , pointed at Hermione, two ministry officials with him.

"Get her" he said quietly.

"Harry! No!" she screamed. "Ginny, stop it! Ginny stop it!" she cried.

"Ginny stop it!" she shouted as she woke up, in the ward in St Mungoe's again, Her legs magically restrained but her hands free to reach two notes on her bedside table.

"Sorry, It's for the best, I'll see you when you get out, Love, Harry" she sighed when she read it, she knew she was right, but hated his narrow minded ways sometimes. And now was one of them.

"Herm, I'm sorry, they wouldn't let me in to see you after they found out I helped you escape. I'm trying to track Lucy down, and give her the veritaserum, but I'm not having any luck. I'll be allowed a supervised visit soon. Stay strong. Love you, Katie" she had finished reading when she felt a hand over her mouth.

"Don't scream" a familiar voice said and took the hand away.

"Ginny." And there stood Ginny, back to her original self, smiling awkwardly at Hermione. "what are you doing here?"

"Proving you're not bloody mad that's what. Come on. We're escaping somewhere quiet, I've got a lot of things to explain to you." She sighed, and ran silently outside with Hermione, to apparate away.


	7. Chapter 7

"Where are we going?" an impatient Hermione asked, being tugged along by one arm of a thought-to-be-extinct Weasley.

"I don't know yet" she explained.

"Pub?" Hermione questioned, hoping that it didn't seem like she was asking her to sneak off for a pint. Thankfully Ginny understood.

"They'll look for us there, ah, I know" and with a crack they had both apparated. They were sat on a hill, at the edge of a woods that overlooked a small town. Hermione instantly recognised a jumbled stack of lights she knew as the burrow. And a few roads up, she saw Harry's bedroom light on. "So…" Ginny started, not knowing where to begin. She sighed heavily. "Sorry, first" she said. Hermione "Hmm'd" in response.

"You should be" She nodded again.

"I, don't know where to start" she sighed again quietly.

"Start with why you left us all like that" Hermione said. She was fully understanding at how hard it was, but still was finding it hard to sympathise with the girl, who was now a woman, who had caused her so much uneccesary grief.

"Well, I thought. I thought you hated me because of, how you reacted to what I did." She trailed off lightly.

"Don't even TRY to put this on me" Hermione insisted, a caustic tone in her voice.

"No, I wouldn't. But I couldn't imagine having to avoid you wherever we went, or not being loved back and everything." She sighed again. "It would have been hard. But that's just one reason" she said, recalling with tears streaming down her face, which had barely aged.

"Ginny that's so irrational. Some of my best friends had died, and I didn't know if the living ones were going to live through the night. I'd loved you for years, but you seriously could not have picked a worst time."

"You loved me?" Ginny said, biting her lip.

"Yes I did." Hermione stated matter-of-factly

"Do you still love me?" Ginny said, pushing it.

"I honestly don't know" She said equally matter-of-factly. "Carry on" she sighed.

"I'd considered that, I considered every outcome. I've had eight years to think about it" she sighed quietly.

"You're not the only one!" Hermione cried. "I have lost sleep about whether or not you knew I loved you before you died. Whether you died alone, and lost. If you were scared. I spent hours trying to remember that kiss…" she trailed off, getting hysterical. She stated in a much calmer tone. "It was for nothing. And as much as I'm thankful you're still alive, part of me hates you for that." She said an air or morose melancholy drifting around her words.

"I wasn't sure how I should come back to everyone…" she said quietly.

"So you decided to fuck me first and see what happens?" at Hermione's last statement, Ginny's hair turned shoulder length and dark brown, and her eyes flickered blue. "Stop doing that" Hermione noted.

"I can't help it, it makes me feel better. That's how I noticed I was an animorphmagus" she nodded. "I'd had a hard day at Hogwarts, and I'd locked myself in the girls toilets. I looked in the mirror and my hair had gone green. I found out I could be anyone I wanted. I could make myself pretty if I wanted" she sighed.

"Ginny. I might hate you right now. But you've always been beautiful as you" she said, giving Ginny a reassuring squeeze of the hand.

"I made up different disguises for characters I could look like. There were a few, I enjoyed pretending to be Lucy the most. It wasn't anything serious obviously. I knew they were just imaginary, it was just a more magical way of playing dress up really. And that's how I practised." She sighed.

"Is that why you decided to be Lucy?" Hermione enquired.

"Yeah, I knew I couldn't be seen, so I transformed a few seconds after it happened" she said quietly.

"It?" Hermione gently nudged the conversation towards Ginny's past.

"I, erm" she stumbled on her words. "I killed someone, I murdered someone." She repeated. "Someone who didn't deserve to die" she stated again.

"Who?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Draco" she sighed.

"It was you!" Hermione said, somewhat shocked. "They've always wanted to know who it was, no one came forward though"

"Are you saying people are happy about it!" she cried. "He didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have" she said.

"Yes, he did. He aided in Dumbledore's death, he assisted the Death Eaters countless times, he leaked things about the order that he had acquired from Snape."

"I didn't kill him for that" she sighed.

"Then why?" she questioned again.

"He was teasing me. Physically, mentally. He bullied me for years" she said quietly. "I didn't let it get to me at first, but he stole my diary not long before it all kicked off" she sighed. "It had things about you in it, my feelings, that I was an unregistered animorphmagus, personal things" she sighed again. "He had been sending me anonymous owls, awful ones. Really awful" she said crying. "I saw him on the battle field as I was stood over Percy. He came over, and said he was glad Percy was gone, and he was a disgrace to a pure blood. Then started teasing me about you, saying he saw me kiss you, and how upset I must be that even you didn't want me. That nobody wanted me" she cried more, as Hermione gently rubbed her shoulders, unsure of what to do.

"Then he…erm, her kissed me." She said quietly "and said that he wanted me, and he was only being mean because he was in love with me" she said, tears streaming. "I didn't know what I felt, then he crucio'd me, and it was horrific. He was doing that and telling me how low life and awful I was. Then something in me just snapped. When he finished I used cruciatus on him, I taunted him, I kicked him, I was no better than him. He told me that I could never be loved and I should just leave, Ironically I listened to him, I cried, and he bragged about how he was a death eater, and how when they found out what I did they'd kill me. He showed me his dark mark and everything." She exhaled slowly. "He started to dig at you, and Percy and Ron again, and I snapped. And I killed him." She finished. Hermione was bound by the horror, it now seemed excusable that she had left. Hermione sat and did nothing but look completely apologetic.

"I thought I'd be under threat, I thought I'd be hated by you, by everyone. I fought until the end, and once everything calmed down and Voldemort was gone, I apparated. Somewhere, not sure, where. In my mind I pictured the last place anyone would look. And I stayed there." She continued. "Sorry, I'm getting on a bit!" she laughed. Hermione smiled through quiet tears and nodded to her to continue. "I lost consciousness after that, an energy drain, and a kick to the head. I woke up in hospital. I said I was a homeless girl and had been for two years. A really nice family took me in, but I never got too close, I missed mum and dad." She smiled in recollection. "I caught up on muggle exams, and it was a hard adjustment! I can tell you I wasn't used to not using my magic." She laughed. "Made a few friends, never really saw them, went to uni, got a job, and eventually bought that pub last year. I'd been living away though, managing another of my friends pubs until now, which is why you haven't seen me, well, Lucy." She sighed. She let it sink in for a few moments, and when Hermione didn't offer anything she prompted her. "You?"

"Well" Hermione stated. "I finished Hogwarts, did my training under the ministry, I am now head librarian at the ministry, which I can assure you is fascinating. I lived on my own until I was twenty five, then lived on and off at the Burrow, when I got lonely. I moved in with Harry a few months ago." She said, hurriedly.

"How is he?" Ginny remarked like an old friend asking about someone they hadn't seen for a few weeks, let alone eight years.

"Good. Well, he's isolated. He can't deal with company well, has a lot of problems with himself, but I think he dealt with your loss the best. He's used to it I imagine" she sighed.

"What about Katie?" Ginny asked, being especially cautious.

"Ahh" Hermione laughed in a strange way. "I hoped you wouldn't ask" she smiled "Well she works in the Library with me. The only other person who was boring enough to train to work there! I met her last year when she was studying, we were friends, then one thing led to another, and well, we are more than friends now. But we're not going out." She added hastily. "But I do like her, a lot" she stated again. "we are kind of seeing each other I suppose." She concluded.

"Oh" was all Ginny could manage.

"Sorry" she sighed, not sure what she was apologising for.

"No it's alright. What did I think would happen? I suddenly return after deserting you all for years and say – "Hey Hermione, I kissed you once eight years ago, yeah, we're all set"" she laughed. Hermione tried to laugh with her.

"It was easier when you were Lucy. Then you just reminded me of Ginny, why I loved her. But you're Ginny now, and it's real and it's scary. And I think I love Katie, and right now I don't even know if I can forgive you, or how you fit into my life. We'll just have to see how it goes." She smiled.

"I spoke to Katie" Ginny said. "Before I came to look for you, I floo'd her, telling her I admitted it and it was really me, and I needed to talk to you, so not to worry if she couldn't find us, or when they find out you've escaped. "

"Oh right. Was she ok?" Hermione innocently enquired.

"She was lovely. You're really lucky" she sighed.

"Who are you going to tell first?" Hermione said after a dangerously long pause.

"Harry I suppose. Katie will have probably told him why you were missing." She rationalised.

"Good plan. We'll apparate"


End file.
